Things I Do: I Bowl

It’s Thursday …the most wonderful day of the week. It’s the night I exercise my American manhood and I go bowling – granted, it’s a co-ed league, but still.

Tonight, I’ll have finally established my new average, and I’m not ashamed to admit I sand-bagged a little. Perhaps at the detriment of the team (we’re off to a 7-28 start), but I think now that I’ll be bowling over average, we’re gonna make a run.

We also welcome back our Fulcrum Bowler (aka Bowler #3, aka Steve). Tonight’s bowling’s highlights will include, but are not limited to:

  1. Eating warm lettuce
  2. Watching Game 5 of the Tigers-Yankees ALDS through the silhouette of a hob-goblin (though someone told me the game was moved to Friday, but that’s possibly only because they don’t want me to watch because I’m a Tigers jinx)
  3. Watching Bowler #4 bowl with a sturdy back. This time of year, no issues for Bowler #4. In about 3 months, it gets painful to witness all of the stretching, arching, aching, and pure torture he goes through to get through another season.
  4. Meeting the “New Guy”. I am certain things will be very awkward for the first 4 frames, but by the 5th, we will all be whistling, drawing pictures, and spinning quarters.
  5. Knowing that even though Joe & Barb are not slotted to bowl tonight, they will show up, for the whistling, drawing, and quarter spinning.
  6. Not knowing what place we are in – hopeful that we are in first, frightful that no recaps have been posted, which could mean another year of cellar dwellers.
  7. Talking with Paul about the benefits of polishing the ole bowling ball, removing the old oils with Windex, and never actually doing any sort of maintenance, but pretending that it will happen.
  8. Bowling the first 200 game of the season, and celebrating with the ceremonial run to the other side of the alley, and high fiving the “men” until you get sucker punched in the gut
Is it any wonder why I bowl? Breathe! Follow through! And remember, no matter how bad you’re bowling, there’s always another game.
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