More Shelf Elf

I think a really good Shelf Elf idea would be for the kids to wake up and find their elf was running a cock fighting racket in our basement. But have you priced roosters, lately? And while I find nothing morally wrong about staging a fake cock fighting event, stealing roosters isn’t something I’m willing to do.

I’d steal guinea pigs and wouldn’t bat an eye, and possibly I’d steal a cow or two as part of a fraternity prank, but not roosters.

I’m uncomfortable with the amount of times I’ve used the word “cock” on my blog, now, and I apologize to the regular readers for having to endure any salty comments from readers who were here expecting something different.

We went with a classic, tried and true “Elf fishing for goldfish crackers” gag because, we’ll, my kids don’t have Pinterest and haven’t seen this, yet. I feel bad for the guy who first thought up the “elf fishing for goldfish cracker” pose …I’ll bet 95% of all Shelf Elves have done this one. He’d be a rich man if you could patent something like that.

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Next up, on Saturday night after the Spartan football team won the Big Ten Championship, my wife fashioned a elvin (or is it “elfish”?) sleeping bag from a wine skin and took a Pom Pom from the American Girl corner. In hindsight, we should’ve taken a couch from the Barbie corner and burned it and flipped a Barbie car over. The kids wouldn’t have gotten the joke, but our friends on Facebook would’ve laughed.

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And finally, last night, Shelf Elf was playing some piano. What the kids can’t see going on here is that our Shelf Elf, known as Sugar Cookie, used to be a great song writer at the North Pole and he once wrote the most popular song on the elvin pop charts! but despite a rather eclectic and indie style, he’ll always be known as a one hit wonder and he’s been trying forever to write his next big chart topper.

Only 15 more days of this madness. Stay tuned.

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