Just …look …at …that …list. It’s sad and pathetic. How can anyone get excited for “I Love Don Week” with a piss-poor list like that?
I knew this day might come when I …gulp …mature a little and grow up. I was walking around today thinking how blessed I am and thinking, “I have my family and my health and that’s all I want for my birthday,” and I really had to take my temperature. For the record, I’m not running a fever.
Help me help you celebrate me. Help me get excited. What am I missing? Why am I feeling content and feeling like I don’t wanna make a big deal about the week and my 43rd birthday!?!?!?
Help. If you need me, I’ll be at Urgent Care asking them to check all my vitals.