It’s Like I’m Not Even Excited About I Love Don Week

UntitledI need to seek counseling or perhaps mood altering drugs, because here we sit exactly 4 days until the kick-off of “I Love Don Week” and I’m not excited. My list is pathetic

  • Cub Cadet riding lawnmower
  • new Shieldon case for my iPhone 5s
  • more Kiehl’s stuff
  • Leaf blower (exactly like the Black & Decker I have that’s dying)
  • Men’s Health subscription
  • Johnston & Murphy classic penny or tassel loafers

Just …look …at …that …list. It’s sad and pathetic. How can anyone get excited for “I Love Don Week” with a piss-poor list like that?

I knew this day might come when I …gulp …mature a little and grow up. I was walking around today thinking how blessed I am and thinking, “I have my family and my health and that’s all I want for my birthday,” and I really had to take my temperature. For the record, I’m not running a fever.

Help me help you celebrate me. Help me get excited. What am I missing? Why am I feeling content and feeling like I don’t wanna make a big deal about the week and my 43rd birthday!?!?!?

Help. If you need me, I’ll be at Urgent Care asking them to check all my vitals.

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