So Long, Shelf Elf, er, I mean, Elf on the Shelf.

I never thought I would be saying this, but I’m going to miss our little Elf on the Shelf. My whole life I’ve been a little fearful of elves, but turns out, they’re people, just like you and me. Except smaller. And magical. And mischievous by nature.

But, hey …I was born in the 70s and raised in the 80s …it’s just my generation. We don’t trust elves. In fact, I didn’t realize that when I was calling her “Shelf Elf” that I was actually being very insensitive. Getting to know an Elf on the Shelf made me realize “shelf Elf” is quite demeaning. They aren’t simply “elves” …there are many different types and origins – who knew?

Keebler Elves make cookies and live in trees. Elves on Shelves, well, they spy on kids and correct behavior. Santa’s Elves make toys. Then there’s Tolkien’s elves. It goes on and on. Oh, and just because I meet a creature that’s small and magical, I guess I need to realize sometimes it could be a Sprite or Fairy, and some Fairies look exactly like elves.

In 24 nights of hiding, only once did I have to run down after I went to bed and quick hide the elf.

Below is her farewell message, and before that, you can see she brought back a copy of Elf, starring Will Ferrell, back from the North Pole and had a little movie night with stuffed animals. So that answers the question …yes, Santa’s Elves and Elves on the Shelves like Will Ferrell and that movie. They do not, however, like Bob Newhart’s cold and non-joyous interpretation of elvin behavior.

We look forward to her visit next year.





Shelf Elf Stretch Run

You’d think it would be easy to blog a little more often with piping hot, fresh material every morning, but for Pete’s sake, it’s all I can do to keep hiding and posing the elf –  blogging just adds another layer I can’t keep up with.

Here’s some recent places she’s hid. Or am I supposed to write “here’s some places she’s ‘hidden.”

Our Elf on the Shelf is a girl. So she grabbed a skirt while on her overnight adventure back to the North Pole. And then she played with some make-up, and I would yell at her, but for all I know, she’s old enough and her elf parents really gotta make that call.

The night before, Sugar Cookie, our Elf on the Shelf, got into a mini box of Fruit Loops.

Seriously, we were running out of funny ideas. Something.



Who’s Ready for More Shelf Elf

Well, last night was nearly a Elf on the Shelf disaster and it wasn’t until this morning while making coffee I was like, “oh, no …Elf on the Shelf didn’t move!”

It was a mad dash and desperate attempt to make things right, so I just threw him onto a counter top and wrote “yum” with M&Ms. Luckily, the previous two nights, as you’ll see below, were a little better. On Friday night, we hid candy canes and you can see Sugar Cookie (if I haven’t mentioned that’s our elf’s name) wrote a poem (using the King’s English) and then the night before that, he made “pancakes” in the kitchen play set. I put “pancakes” in quotes because I couldn’t find a pancake and what you see cooking up in the pan is actually the bottom of a fake hamburger bun. Interestingly enough, when my son found it, he said, “Sugar Cookie is cooking some kinda bread in a pan.”

Ten more days until Elf on the Shelf races back to the North Pole.



More Shelf Elf

I think a really good Shelf Elf idea would be for the kids to wake up and find their elf was running a cock fighting racket in our basement. But have you priced roosters, lately? And while I find nothing morally wrong about staging a fake cock fighting event, stealing roosters isn’t something I’m willing to do.

I’d steal guinea pigs and wouldn’t bat an eye, and possibly I’d steal a cow or two as part of a fraternity prank, but not roosters.

I’m uncomfortable with the amount of times I’ve used the word “cock” on my blog, now, and I apologize to the regular readers for having to endure any salty comments from readers who were here expecting something different.

We went with a classic, tried and true “Elf fishing for goldfish crackers” gag because, we’ll, my kids don’t have Pinterest and haven’t seen this, yet. I feel bad for the guy who first thought up the “elf fishing for goldfish cracker” pose …I’ll bet 95% of all Shelf Elves have done this one. He’d be a rich man if you could patent something like that.


Next up, on Saturday night after the Spartan football team won the Big Ten Championship, my wife fashioned a elvin (or is it “elfish”?) sleeping bag from a wine skin and took a Pom Pom from the American Girl corner. In hindsight, we should’ve taken a couch from the Barbie corner and burned it and flipped a Barbie car over. The kids wouldn’t have gotten the joke, but our friends on Facebook would’ve laughed.


And finally, last night, Shelf Elf was playing some piano. What the kids can’t see going on here is that our Shelf Elf, known as Sugar Cookie, used to be a great song writer at the North Pole and he once wrote the most popular song on the elvin pop charts! but despite a rather eclectic and indie style, he’ll always be known as a one hit wonder and he’s been trying forever to write his next big chart topper.

Only 15 more days of this madness. Stay tuned.